What do you need?

Many times we look around us and wonder, “Is there anything that I need right now?” Are you sure that you really need what you think that you need right now?

I know, it sound sorta confusing doesn’t it? The point is that we are always looking for something in our daily lives, whether it is our glasses or our car keys or even a flash light, it seems that we are always losing something. When you are depressed, or down whichever way you look at it, you have lost a little of yourself. Some part of you, the happy part maybe, is either asleep or is hiding in a closet somewhere not wanting to come out.

I have felt this way. I still feel this way on some days, but then there are times when you have to get up out of the closet in your mind, dust your pants off and just do…life. I know this sounds simplistic, and when you are deep into the dark recesses of your mind, you really don’t want to come out. That’s OK. Everyone has had a day or a couple of days like that and sometimes it takes going to a clinic or a doctor to get past the door of your closet…your dark place.

Needing to get going, to go past your mental doors that may be keeping you from engaging the rest of your family or the world is something that those of us who have been depressed or maybe still are depressed is hard to do at times. You may not even want to get up and go to the doctor’s office. I didn’t. I don’t have insurance and many insurance plans don’t cover “mental illness”. It is like we made up something…that those of us suffering from this just think up some “condition” to have so we can get medication, so they choose not to cover it.

Nobody CHOOSES to be depressed! Nobody wants to feel the way that this makes you feel, so why do people seem to think that it is just something that we need to “get over”? Maybe because they are denying that they have ever felt this way? I was in denial about it because I finally realized that I have been depressed a lot longer than I thought!

My “way up and out” was when I actually admitted to myself that I was depressed, not just down. I had actually thought about suicide, not tried to accomplish it but the thought had crossed my mind a few times. Something that a Christian shouldn’t think about, let alone the pastor of a church, which I am. God has helped me through this so far and He will lead me through it, one day at a time. I am reading and praying about this daily through Psalms and Proverbs, so I have a long way to go yet, but that is fine. My life will be richer for it and I will be able to empathise with others better.

Call on Jesus, admit that you are not the problem but that you have a problem, He will help you to get through this too!

God will be with you during this period and if you feel that you need prayer or just a friend to vent to, drop me a comment or an email. I am not an expert, but He is and together we can get through this!


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