“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”
Actually, I had put up this site and others for a witness for Jesus to draw in some who might otherwise choose not to read my other blogs. But, this has been so therapeutic for me in other ways until I can’t keep from changing the tone to one which points toward the mental health of everyone who may read this. I went through an illness in December of 2012 which permanently disabled me. Prior to this, I was able to go and do mostly what I wanted within reason and sanity.
During this time of illness, I had some dreams (for lack of a better way to describe them) which brought me to a point which, I believe, was like a stepping off place. One that would eventually take me to places that I really didn’t want to go, but it did whether I was willing or not.
My “mental state” has always been suspect (if you will allow me) since my parents divorced when I was very young. I have been and grew up being an angry young man, and but for the grace and prayers of my family I might not have survived through my teenage years. Because I was angry at my parents and at the world in general, I couldn’t or wouldn’t see my problem and I didn’t for a very long, long time.
All through 2013 I struggled with my state of mind because it seemed to point back to the fact that I couldn’t work and because I really didn’t know or understand what was happening to me. Why was I feeling this way? Only recently, within the past six weeks, have I finally come to understand that my mental state…my depression was at the root of my biggest problem. It was not my inner ear balance which was causing my anger and frustration, it was my “inner mind”.
I pray that the Physician of the Universe, our Creator will touch your lives and mine with His healing hands through this project and through, possibly, something that I have said or written or even something that other bloggers have written. God is an awesome God and He has created us in His image but sometimes our image becomes a bit blurred by the cares and consequences of this world. The most encouraging thing is that He loves you beyond anything that you can know or feel and will carry you through it if need be.